Pressing

Dear fragile soul

You are not meant to understand

There are plently things you will never know

You will fall, you will win

There are times you will fail before you even begin

Days will hurt

You will run

As hard as it is

There will be fun

And you will love

you will lose

the skies will be grey and blue

beyond the edges of this vast world

endless at that

you will be loved for real

if you can only learn how to feel

the answers are not all there

you cannot solve every riddle

Walk this soil full of that burning desire

and that heart you guard,

someday you’ll learn to share

let that sunlight warm the parts of you that hide

there’s hope out there waiting

but mostly it’s inside

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Annotations

Dear New Year,

I will not enter you kicking or screaming.

No expectations in sight.

There will be no wishing or hoping.

Praying or believing.

No specific goals or dreams.

I will not say I want more from you than years past.

My anticipation will not get the best of me.

I welcome the future just the same as my past.

I will continue to live to the fullest, without boundaries.

I feel no fear of what will be.

Time will continue to move on and so will I.

Homeostasis

Lookout

Don’t tell me there is no such thing as miracles,

I can feel my own heart beating.

Don’t say I wasn’t created,

My body is a perfect machine.

Don’t tell me there is nothing to believe in.

For breathing isn’t easy.

And don’t say there is nothing to live for.

My mind is my own best friend.

And when it finally goes,

these vibrant thoughts will still live on.

I will create until the end of time.

Even when I cannot share my words,

I will carry on those memories.

The ones that never die.

Rue

There once was a girl named Rue,

She had so much homework that she didn’t know what to do.

So she tried and tried,

threw her social life away,

slipped slowly into a life void of play.

She learned this and that,

and her mind grew and grew.

She conquered every quiz and test

Her grades climbed to the top

But all she really wanted was some rest.

Her dreams were full of the next escape,

wishes of traveling the world.

So she kept a level mind,

while her passion she fed,

made some new friends,

when it was possible, she would clear her head.

Rue is still learning,

giving it her all,

in awe of the ride.

She knows the road ahead will unwind in due time,

along with the pull of the tide.

This chapter won’t always seem such a mess.

She’s going places,

conquering the quest.

She is scared of what will be,

but she’s doing her best.

~JSC

The Gleam

When you are young and trying to figure out the world, you haven’t a clue about what you are doing or who you are for that matter.  My memories are full of wanting to understand myself so badly, but feeling nothing but confusion.  Trying to make sense of the growing up process is a tough one.  I used to let people make fun of me, believe the horrible things they said and never once spoke up for myself.  I was a timid child.

You grow up and learn what it is to be someone, to be yourself.  To trust and believe in yourself.  And if you can find any sort of simplicity in your existence, while truly discovering your purpose simultaneously, that’s when you really win.

So today, while I’m unbelievably thankful for countless things, moments and people, I’m mostly proud of my mind, my soul; my identity.  I was fortunate to have the time to get to know myself and believe in myself.  I know what I want and I’m working to fulfill my passions.

If that’s not the ultimate reward in life, I don’t know what is.

Dreamer

Because aren’t we all just characters

in the same big story,

finding our way

towards our happy ending?

And if today isn’t what you imagined

there’s always tomorrow,

or the next chapter.

If your dreams are as tall

as the buildings you admire.

And the edge of your imagination

soars along mountaintops.

You’ll never know limits,

you can have anything you desire.

So live in today boldly,

see yourself in all your dreams.

There’s infinite things waiting

to captivate and inspire

and only you can create the ending.

On The Run

Progress requires patience.  Patience takes time.  Time moves so slow, currently.

My mind is on fire with hopes, dreams, challenges and beyond.  Knowledge is my only true goal.

Everything I do is fueled by what comes next.

All this hard work is propelling me towards that fairytale.

It will all be mine.

Someday.

The Cards

Breathe.
You know what’s next, but
He’ll say things like
How great you still are,
How beautiful,
And how much he has learned from you.

Breathe.
You know it’s over, still
He’ll say things like
He’ll still call,
You’re still friends,
You just need to find someone
Who’ll treat you better.

These are just words
You’ve heard before,
So you hug your shoulders,
Take deep breaths,
Pretend to ignore the stagnant air,
His echoed voice,
And the blond behind you
Wating for him.

[June 2002-Kimberly Carvajal]

Thwart

That fiery path towards inconceivable incubus is conquerable in time

Undeniably so, the hindrance is strong

Repreive in knowing that magic is waiting to surprise

The heroine must prepare to stumble, even blindly, towards victory

The reparation can be slow

Amidst the facades will be waiting, your prize