For a very long time I never appreciated who I am. Although there was never a shortage of love in my life, from my wonderful family and friends, I still could not feel it. I spent a good portion of my days very low at times and lived in an unhealthy amount of darkness. I always fell for the ones who didn’t appreciate me. I loved them with all that I possibly could but there never seemed to be reciprocation on a near level. This wasn’t the fault of the men I chose, just the way it happened. It was life. It was growing pains. It was all necessary in the grand scope of things.
As much as I was searching and yearning to gain the love from those that I felt so deeply for, it was always something inside of me that was absent. I was learning self-acceptance. I was gaining an understanding of the person who was staring back at me in the mirror. After 31 years, I truly love myself. This isn’t some statement that I’m making in hopes of believing; it’s real. A friend asked me the other day how I learned to be comfortable being independent. I told her that I simply spent a lot of time alone and worked hard at getting to know every detail of myself. I studied my thoughts, feelings, reactions and emotions. As I emerged from all that time, I realized how valuable and extraordinary I am. And I’ll never forget it.
If you don’t love yourself, nothing else really matters. It’s great to love someone else but you cannot possibly give your all to someone if you are broken. As much as I am hopeful that I will find my other half someday I know that I will be okay without that. Because the truth is, I am already whole. I am me, with or without someone else.
If you don’t already, search within yourself to figure it all out. Love yourself. We are all worth that.