So I am currently hyped up on way too much coffee, New York City is covered in a fluffy white blanket, I’m cuddled inside enjoying the gorgeous view AND I made my first ever snow angel earlier; I am in the greatest mood.
I’ll be a college freshman in approximately three weeks. I know that I will be learning many things but honestly I’ve already learned the most important one. This lesson is internal. I love and appreciate myself. That’s all. Nothing more.
I think sometimes people hear the word “meditation” and it may appear so obscure, unknown and out there that they are unwilling to try. I think if all the world took the time to meditate, in any form of their choice, we would have so much less hate and hurt. To connect with yourself in meditation form is a true gift. One I am very passionate about. All anxiety melts away with a few deep breaths and true focus on self. That ability to let go is so important.
All the past make sense and I have trust in my future. I am being taken care of in all accounts and I feel true love from those closest to me. There is nothing more I need and to wish for more seems silly and selfish. My picture is different from the future I envisioned but I’m having a wonderful time building a different one.
Much love to you all. Namaste.
It was on a bus somewhere along my commute from Trader Joe’s back home. It was a frigid Monday morning and I was bundled tightly. None of my regular music could settle me; everything felt painful in my ears. I chose a piano/violin station and as the bus became more and more of a crowded and chaotic environment with each stop, I drifted further away. I closed my eyes and escaped the bus, the city, the world, my thoughts, my emotions, until it was like I didn’t even exist in my own body any longer. It felt warm. The warmest I have felt in so long. I was entirely motionless and my head empty. Strangely I had managed to completely let everything go, all the things inside. Some I was aware of and even things I didn’t know were there. It was bliss in those few moments yet so brief. Eventually I felt the vibrations in my feet travel back throughout my entire body and I was aware once again.
That was my favorite place…I want to go there again. I think I’ll visit often.
So many different ways my clouded mind has been drifting lately. The good and the bad. Oh the bad…It’s been following me everywhere I go. The hurt and the past. Neither of which are of any use to me. I have been hoping for the strength to overcome these recent internal waves of darkness.
I’ve decided to stick with love. I don’t need the countless other negative emotions that try to block out the good in me. The parts of me that were meant to shine.
Recent endeavors guided by meditation have taught me that most of the turmoil in our lives come from our egos and overall fear. This chaos causes much of our anger. Well I refuse to be angry. I’m still working on letting go of my fear. At times it can be difficult not to fear ending up alone, especially when so many others around me have their someone. But then again, I guess that makes me special. My person is still out there searching, as am I. Maybe on this journey to find myself, someday I will feel whole again. Without needing anyone else to validate me. I’m still learning about all the reasons why I’m good enough. I just have to remember to believe.
So love wins. Because it’s all I’ve ever had to give. The broken parts of me aren’t strong enough to hold me down anymore. These new parts of me that I’ve built are much stronger. I’m still holding onto hope. It’s all I have now. And I will not let go.
If you really want something, make it happen. It’s as simple as that. I don’t believe the process spent in getting the things we want will be simplistic by any means, but we can have anything we desire. In my recent assessment of the last few years of my life, I know this theory to be so true.
I’ve been yearning for something that I do not have anymore. When, in all actuality, who says that I shouldn’t have it? I really owe it to myself to do everything within my power to get that things I want in my life. I am the only one that can make this happen. It is all riding on me.
I spent a week of self-realization, discovered the benefits of meditation and managed to do some new soul-searching. Then I spent a few very low days analyzing and understanding my current situation. I can, without a doubt, work very hard to make a life for myself here. But I never intended to do it alone. I’ve gained a great deal of independence and strength in my current residence but it’s time to move on.
Plans are in the works to move back to the city that stole my heart. Literally. There has not been one day that has passed that I don’t think about it. I became myself when I moved to New York and I haven’t truly been myself since I left it behind. My energy is focused on this dream that never really left me, I just found a way to push it aside for a brief moment in time. I can’t wait to go back home.
We may know where we want to go but do we have a plan on how to get there? Sometimes I feel like I’m treading this path blindly and have no idea what to expect from day-to-day. The moments are all so intense because my state of mind tends to change so rapidly. Living in the moment is one thing that I am still learning how to do. Enjoying whichever direction the wind blows me feels very free. I have felt that I am missing some direction or maybe its just that I don’t have enough constants in my life. I have been researching a bit on meditation and personal affirmations. I have never created one of my own so I thought this would be the perfect time for my first one. This will be my own personal reminder of who I am every single day. I highly suggest that you write out your very own mantra. I feels empowering.
I am strong, independent and loving.
I feel balanced, centered and grounded.
I will conquer this day by radiating positivity.
I will release the past.
I am completely free to be myself.
I have the power to overcome any obstacle.
Every day my mind and body gain more strength.
I can breathe with ease and creativity constantly flows throughout me.
Simplicity in my life is beauty.
I love unconditionally and will always be loved in return.
I am surrounded by many souls who understand me and I accept them in their entirety.
I will be successful throughout any endeavour I may choose.
The present is the home of my dreams.
I am blessed and eternally grateful.