It is amazing to me how quickly things can change. I can’t help feeling so defeated as I walk away from this new life I have strived for in every way possible. I have to admit that I fell in love with this city as well as the woman that almost emerged in me while residing here. But once again, I am sinking and I just can’t seem to make it work. I have tried so hard, given so much of myself. I never expected to feel so saddened to say goodbye to New York. But I am. On a level that no one may understand. I’ve fought, I’ve tried, I’ve worked so hard. But that wasn’t enough. I guess someday it won’t feel like such a failure. But for now, it hurts.
It is time for more changes. I need to change everything all over again. I am terrified but I know it will be okay. I am always okay, no matter what happens. I hope this time is better and my decisions lead me down the right path. I desperately need some good.


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