The Long Road Ahead

I’ve traveled this road before.  Paved with many ups and downs and hard work that did end up paying off, but always temporarily.  This time is for real.  I finally care enough about myself to make this change.

I have battled weight problems most of my life.  As a child I was active enough but I managed to fall into many bad eating habits.  Mostly over-eating.  As a teen, I was fortunate to be involved in basketball which, in turn, aided in keeping me fit.  In fact, I would say that the last time I was at a “healthy weight” was my sophomore through senior year of high school.  Since then I have had bursts of success here and there but nothing was permanent.  I know that it’s because I never cared enough about myself to keep going.  I never had the motivation.  I’ve hated much about who I am since I was young.  Mostly the way I look.  Being constantly picked on while growing up didn’t help things but let’s be honest, you can’t keep blaming your problems on your past.  That’s just plain fucking stupid.  Eventually, there comes a time when you need to grow up and figure out what you want and make it happen.   No one else is going to do it for you.

So I know what I want now.  I want to be healthy.  I want to look healthy.  I want to look in the mirror and feel good about myself, for once.  I want to be able to wear what I want without worrying.  I want to feel more than invisible.  The most important part is that I am doing this for me.  This goal means a lot to me.

My determination is solid and I am off to a great start.  In the last month, I have lost ten pounds.  I have been pushing myself more than ever.  I guess I really do have this in me.  I just never knew it.

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One comment

  1. jessbarz · February 28, 2011

    Its good that you have found your drive to get healthy. This is definately a long road you are on and one that is going to treat you a little badly sometimes. One things I have learned is to not give up. No matter how hard it seems, you are doing something great for yourself and your body. Just remember why you started down this path and you will find your hope to hold on. Good luck.

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