Admiration

I am inspired by a plethora of things, places, music, experiences, art, the beauty of nature; but mostly people.  I have never been someone to have very many historical heros or mentors.  While there are some amazing people that have accomplished countless noteworthy greatness in the past and present, I find it easier to relate to those I have actually known in my everyday life.  There have been so many and I could go on and on.  I ultimately respect anyone who will go for what they want without fear, perhaps because I could never bring myself to do the same until recently.  Comfort is very important to me.  I can only truly display the true me around a select few.

As an example, I will use Caitlin.  Caitlin is one of the friends I have made here in New York and I know it was for good reason.  I can be myself around her always, whether it be moody, sad, goofy, nerdy, lazy, happy, or just quiet.  We spend time exploring the city or lounging in her apartment listening to music and knitting for hours.  I love the time I spend with her.  Most importantly, she is changing me and teaching me new things.  She taught me to knit, she is going to teach me basic guitar and she is always routing for me to do things I aspire to do.  She makes me want to be a better person and isn’t that we all wish for?  I know I do.

I think that deep admiration for someone has the potential to be intimidating at times.  There is someone in my life that I have admired from day one.  This person has always inspired me in so many ways.  We’ve literally watched each other grow up  and all that history can often feel overwhelming.  I think it is the potential that this person has to see into the core of me, through my walls, that scares the shit out of me.  He has always been there for me in his own special way and I believe I’ve done the same.  No matter where our lives take us, our friendship will always live inside of my heart.  He will always be my hero.

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