The Dilemma

As little girls we are taught, and possibly figure out on our own, that we want to end up with a good man.  Someone who is loving, caring, strong, protective, respectful, romantic and will take care of us the way a man should look after a woman.  This is the dream and any female who says they don’t now or did not, at some time, hope for this, is lying.

We are all on this endless, exhausting search for the love of our life, soul mate; our other half.  The problem is, what we want has the potential to change at many points in our childhood, adulthood and lifetime overall.  As it should.  The simple fact is that we continuously strive to understand ourselves and in turn this changes what we want and need.  Not to mention the ways in which we are changed by the people we meet and interact with over the years.  If we don’t have our good, bad or horrible relationships and experiences to look back on, how would we ever know what makes us tick?  What we do and don’t want.  I don’t want to imagine myself without all my past to look back on and learn from because I would have never know, for certain, who I want to end up with.

What about when we have it all?  What makes us challenge that and look for something wrong?  Are we ever happy?  Recently one of my co-workers was discussing a new man in her life.  “He’s just too nice Jamie.”  Although I have heard women say this before and possible felt this as well, I decided to challenge it.  I was extremely curious as to why him being “nice” was a…Problem?  “He holds the door for me, calls to make sure I got home okay, surprises me with dinner dates and calls me too often.”  How fucked up is it that, as women, we know we want to end up with the “good guy” but when we have him in front of us we can never really appreciate it .  Men do this as well.  I have been told on more than on occasion that I am “too nice.”  Honestly, I say that’s bullshit.

I’ve been blessed to spend my time with very few great men in my time and I will say that I’ve enjoyed every second of it.  There are not nearly enough good people, men or women, out there.  Romance is dead and our world is this completely messed up place where no one wants to commit, mankind has zero honor, marriage is a joke, and “dating” consists of sleeping with countless number of partners without any attachment.  In all honesty, it’s a sad, sad existence.  What I wouldn’t give to transport my soul back to a time when people fought to be with the ones they loved and that held solid for the rest our their lives together.   Love meant something real back then.


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