Maybe its just because I woke up feeling really grateful this morning or simply because I feel inspiration inside of me that’s been lacking recently, but I’ve decided to recap my year. I want to document the most life changing events that I have experienced thus far packed into the last 12 months. What started with what I, at the time, I perceived as tragedy, has shaped into something so beautiful. The way in which you choose to slay your dragons will change on each battlefront and I’ve certainly had my share of war this year. Ironically, as it turns out, the bad people, the ones that hurt you, still teach you things and impact your life in ways that sometimes will never leave you. They shape, shift and mold you into something stronger and ready for the next chapter in your life. Looking back it is impossible and quite difficult to not wish that certain instances were handled differently but that’s how we learn. That is how we grow.
There are days when I think I have learned so much and others that I wonder who the hell I am and where I am going. But the one thing I do have as a constant in my life is support. I am extremely blessed by the people I have met.
Highlights of the year:
January-Surviving extreme hurt and countless lies. I was constantly sick to my stomach and just felt horrible. This was the beginning of the end.
February- Went to a few therapy sessions. It was helpful. Considering re-visiting this.
Traveled to Vegas with Tiffany and we spent time with our cousin Keri. It was much-needed sunshine in the middle of the storm.
March-Spent a lot of nights sleeping on Tiffany’s couch and every other possible place aside from my own home…Very thankful for Micah during this time as well, he saved me on several occasions, in many ways. Emily was also really there for me. She listened, supported and believed in me, which is exactly what I needed most.
April- Mostly a blur… Josh was a big part of my survival mode. He was my shoulder and provided a great deal of the laughter that I experienced.
May- Traveled to New York and instantly fell in love with the city. Tiffany, Jen, Heatherlyn and I all had our own reasons why we desperately needed that escape at that point in our lives. I can honestly say that was the most therapeutic and soul refreshing trip of my life thus far. After a week, as I was flying out of JFK, I could tell with every bone in my body that New York was where I was meant to be in the next step of my journey. I vowed to move be back there by the end of the year.
Thought, at the time, that I had lost one of my best friends forever and did not even get to say goodbye…
June- Most of this month was spent working out, hiking, going on bicycle rides with Tiff and Jen and continuing to restore myself from the darkness. I was also on the search for employment in NY. I knew I had to get the hell out of AZ. Spent more time with Josh and dinner dates with Emily too. I spent my birthday with so many of the people I love and felt amazingly special.
July-The dream turned into reality and time kicked into fast forward. The time between the moment our plans were officially set in stone and my last day in Arizona was only about 15 days. Sorting through all my belongings and tying up all the countless loose ends before moving my life across the US was, by far, the most intense and stress-filled thing I’ve ever done. Saying goodbye to all my friends and family…the strongest emotions I have ever felt.
August 1st- Boarded the plane with my one-way ticket in hand and held my breath. Thankfully, I wasn’t alone. I had two of my best friends by my side; equally overwhelmed as me.
There really is nothing I can write to truly explain what its like to arrive in NYC, jobless, two suitcases full of belongings and only a week to find a new home. Not to mention that my life would now be spent depending on public transit in a city that I honestly new nothing about geographically speaking. Subways were terrifying at first and to be honest, so was walking around Brooklyn after dark. Throw in the fact that AC is definitely a rarity in NY and the 100% humidity in the dead of summertime and there you have it; quite the experience.
I was beyond lucky. I was hired for the first job I interviewed for and we found a very respectable apt in Brooklyn not too far from all of our jobs. To top it off, it is the cutest neighborhood.
The adjustment period was tough. It took a while to connect with co-workers and to actually make friends. But when it all finally came together, it was glorious.
We had quite a few visitors in the period of about 5 weeks and I think that helped my explore and appreciate my new surroundings even more. Plus it was great to see my friends that I had missed dearly.
It must be noted that when the leaves starting changing and Fall was upon us, I was instantly in love. I cannot believe I had never lived in that sort of beauty before.
November and December- Coldness and Winter are two things that take some adjustment when you have lived in the desert for your entire life. Since I was used to wearing flip flops almost year round and only pulling out a light jacket from time to time, this new climate had the potential to be tricky at first.
Things I learned about coldness:
Wind is what makes me cold. I have grown quite fond of 30 and below temps, but when the wind starts going crazy, forgetaboutit! Lol.
When you wake up after the 6th largest blizzard in NYC history, to 24 inches of snow, don’t stand waiting for the bus. Its not coming. Haha.
Watch out for snow plows.
65 MPH winds can definiely knock you over if you are not careful.
Walking through the snow is not bad and actually sort of fun, as long as you have the proper shoes.
Spend as much money necessary and get yourself a kick ass jacket. It will be worth it. Thankfully I prepared myself with this in plenty of time.
Properly laying your clothing is very important. I have spent many a morning sweating my ass of on public transit as well as freezing.
Overall I have to say that I truly love the snow. I get overwhelmingly happy when I see the start of a snowflake. Tiffany makes fun of me; she hates the snow and is miserable.
I definitely want to continue living places with actual winter and snow from now on. Makes life more interesting.
So here I am. The end of the year. I can say for certain that I’ve grown spiritually and mentally. I am getting better in the art of letting go, something that has always been a battle. I know what I want, more than ever. I am much more confident in myself and don’t let anyone cut into me the way I have in the past.
Resolutions are lame, I say. I have daily goals that I plan to stay true to. Though I will say this about 2011…
I will commit myself to one person and one person only.
I will create new life.
I will go to school.
I will learn to play the piano.
I will travel somewhere outside the country.
I will write more.
I will run a marathon.
I will have the most rad 30th birthday ever!
One last thing I want to say is this. None of us know how long we will be here. Don’t ever pass up the opportunity to tell someone how much they mean to you.
Thanks to everyone who follows my blog. May this next year bring you many blessings. Love!