Vehementasia

Sometimes I think that if I could live without my heart that I would be fine.  Not the living breathing part.  The caring, attachment seeking, never wants to let go, falls in love too easily, wanting and yearning part.  But then I remember the person I am and everything about myself that I believe makes me so special.  I love a lot of people in so many different ways and I would do anything for them.  I wouldn’t change that.  I like how I am.  I like who I am.

Moving, honestly, was the best thing I could have ever done at this point in time.  It helped me in ways that I can’t even explain to anyone because thankfully only I truly know all the things that go on inside my head.  What I mean is that at least I know myself well enough to recognize when I am in trouble.  I chose to make a change and I did it.  I never knew that I could.  I never believed that I would.  For the first time, in such a long time, I feel like me again.  The real Jamie.  I don’t feel shy here.  I don’t feel out of place; ever.  I love talking to strangers and I am completely comfortable with who I am.  I am confident and content with whatever happens.  I never knew that I was this strong.

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