Friendship. It’s not supposed to be a one way street. You don’t just choose the times that it is convenient for you to be there for someone. You show up and you stick it out. That’s what real friends do. And if you can’t handle that then excuse me for saying so, but you are a shitty friend…
It’s pretty perfect when you realize that past now means nothing to you, along with a good portion of the people that go along with it. I think sometimes we hold on to people just because they have always been there and we aren’t sure of how it might feel without them… I have been paying a lot of attention to the way my “friends” treat me. I’ve finally found and learned to recognize the people that suit me well; support me, listen to me, let me know when I’m acting ridiculous while still being supportive, encourage me to grow, compliment me as a person, understand me and genuinely care about me. I have realized that there is no longer room for all the others. The downers, the fake friends, the drama queens, the users, the fuckbuddies, the negativity; those that only bring me down.
I was scared of losing for so long that I haven’t cared enough to stand up for myself. On countless occasions, I let people hurt me in every way possible, forgave them even after betrayal in the worst ways and let them repeat this pattern over and over again. Now I say, fuck you. I don’t deserve that and I never have. You are not welcome in my life any longer.
I am stronger now. I know what to look for. I don’t need you and I don’t want you. Things are different now. I am different.
I have found my people. My life is so much happier. I may not know exactly where I am going, but I know who I want to take with me.